There's a little life in us yet...

Trying to steer my choices for health and wellness back on course, as they always seem to veer off track, never proves easy for me. Remember to take my vitamins, eat less junk and more whole foods, and get back into regular yoga, which always make me feel better. I think when Autumn rolls around every year it is always a contemplative season for me. I start to think about my life, and the person I've become, and where I'm going. Sometimes, I think too much and worry myself to the edge of a proverbial cliff, only to try and back myself away from the edge. The more calm I can choose to be, the better I can get through daily life, and the better I treat the people around me. I have a lot going on, both mentally, and in my daily life, and I'm not always good at balancing everything. I realized yesterday, while I was at home in a bit of a funk, and trying to move out from it, that I'm no longer a "if a end up do this" kind of person. No "shh you'll jinx it" mentallity. It's now  "when I do this". No room for failure. It's now "When I move to London...". It will happen. Maybe not in the way I'd prefer, or in my given time frame, but I will make it happen. Instead of looking as possible rejection from graduate school the first time around as a crushing blow to my life plans, I'm trying to view it as a small delay in a larger movement that I'm making in my life. I have a desire to start a life there, to build something of value. I'm normally not a person who counts on other people, or who makes plans around them, but in this case, I want to. When I think about life, it's only enhanced and made more full by having someone to share it with. I feel extremely lucky, and best of all, I no longer feel paralyzed by the fear of being left, or being alone. I know I can handle those things, if they should happen. Feeling that confidence in myself is nice, for a change.